Maan Pamaran is no stranger to the word “toxic”; she was in this kind of relationship for 18 years.
After a year of dating her ex-partner, they got married. It wasn’t long after when he started showing red flags. He isolated her from her loved ones as he didn’t want her to spend time with her family and friends. On top of this, he began to put her down and make her feel less.
When she had their first child, he influenced her to quit her job, despite having accomplished so much in her career already. During her second pregnancy, he began to physically abuse her.
She was able to go back to work once their first child was older, but he once again made her quit when she got pregnant with their third. Even their three children were beaten, slapped, and strangled by their father. Their home only felt safe when he was away.
Because she was jobless and isolated from her loved ones, her ex-husband continued to downplay her achievements and made her feel as if she had nowhere to go.
After about 18 years together, Maan finally put her foot down when he got another woman pregnant. Despite the pressure from his parents to take care of the child and protect the family reputation, she refused.
3 years ago, she and her kids left their home. She only brought with her a wallet and a tablet, but she never looked back. She deems herself lucky to have found a safe space with her family and friends, despite not having access to the resources that now exist for domestic abuse survivors.
Today, Maan talks about her experience openly and continues to inspire people who are going through similar toxic or abusive relationships. She advocates for fellow survivors to know their worth and leave once they recognize toxicity.
If you are a victim of or know someone who needs assistance, you may reach out to:
Volunteer-run organization that bridges victim-survivors of sexual violence to pro bono legal advice, psychological aid, and other services.
Request form: bit.ly/SulongRequestForm
Donate here: bit.ly/SurvivorsSolidarityFund
Maya’s Organization Philippines
Davao-based support group offering help and advice to victim-survivors of sexual, physical or emotional abuse.
PH Mobile: 09631115935 (Smart) | 0966 7552253 (Globe)
PH Landline: (082) 291 9481
PNP Women and Children Protection Center
Lead unit of the PNP that handles Violence Against Women and Children.
Aleng pulis hotline: 0919 777 7377
Women and Children Cyber Protection Unit
Unit in the PNP responsible for addressing concerns and reports on sexual and gender-based cybercrimes.
Tel. +63 (8) 723-0401 local 5354 / 0927 084 3792
Tel. +63 (8) 723-0401 local 7494